sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
