I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
