Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
