Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
