So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
