only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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