She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
