sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
