am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
