Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
