Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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