i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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