My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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