Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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