i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
