Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
