Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
