I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
