Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
