How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
