haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
