Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
