its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
