Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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