who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish I only lived at night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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