Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize