The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
worst night to have a conscience
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
