Tell her she can't have a vagina
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
