How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
