Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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