drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
