its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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