i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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