the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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