addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
