Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
