After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So vagazzling was a success
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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