It's Friday. Sex?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
