I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
