just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
