Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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