ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my liver is dry heaving
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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