the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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