Kiss
Puke
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize