Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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