if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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