Swine flu. Run for my life!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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