yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
