i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
