just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
