I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
