Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
