it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
