i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
