I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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