I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
