I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize